After all that has gone on, I felt it was important to stay on routine as much as possible for Andrea. Of course that was difficult to do with all the chaos going on, but I feel like we managed fairly well. Our routine is completely different now than it was before April 18th, but we are all adjusting. Joaquin is a good baby, and Andrea is an amazing big sister.
I often sit and wonder what life would be like had Gabriel been around. He would have been one, and most likely sleeping through the night, but I can't imagine life without my little Joaquin. I'm sure that they would have looked very similar, and while I will never compare the two, I'm sure God gave me a glimpse of what Gabriel would be like by giving me Joaquin. I love both of my sons so much, and I miss my Gabe more than ever, but I know he is always with us. I know he is always there watching over Andy and JJ. I'll never forget...
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Back again
I feel like I keep going and coming back to my blog every few months. This time is so different though. I've been gone because there have been some crazy, sometimes overwhelming events that have happened in my life in the last 7 weeks.
First and foremost I must announce that Joaquin Jeronimo made his debut into the world on April 18th at 10:53 PM via emergency c-section. He weighed in at 6lbs1oz and was 18in. long. Not to shabby for a 35 weeker. It's been quite the journey since hours before his arrival. This entry can get super long, but I will try and get in as much detail as I can without making it a novel.
That day started out about as normal as any other Monday. I got up and got Andy ready for her mom and tot class. I felt a bit queasy, but figured it was probably due to my stuffing my face with Wendy's the night before ;). I had a glass of millk that didnt sit to well, but didnt think much of it. Anyway, after class I came home, and fed Andy her lunch. i tried eating a sandwich myself, but I couldn't really keep it down. Eventually it all came out and I couldn't stop puking. I finally stopped just to give me enough time to call my OB and my husband. OB told me to just go in to the hospital to make sure I wasn't dehydrate, and because I hadn't felt baby move as much.
Quite honestly I figured I'd get peace of mind hearing the baby's heartbeat, and I'd be right back at home in a few hours. After all my c-section was scheduled for 2 more weeks. I couldn't have a baby that night. My mom wasn't coming in until the 30th, I didnt really have much ready either. We had just moved out of the house, and were just starting to settle in with my in laws. As soon as I walked into the hospital I started to feel actual contractions. I got an IV immediately, and as soon as I finished that bag it all came right back up. A ton of puke all over again. After that my contractions got stronger. I told the OB on call I wasn't comfortable going home at all especially after my history of losses. I wasn't going to lose this baby too. She agreed that she wouldn't send me home, but she wanted to keep baby in longer. They monitored me for a few more hours, and it was obvious my contractions were stronger and closer together. Due to my t-incision with my daughter they couldn't risk me continuing with these contractions. Before I knew it, a c-section had been called, and I was to have my boy that night.
Made a quick call to my mom to get the next flight out, and just let my brothers and in-laws know he was coming in a few. It dawned on me that it was April 18th, my original due date with Gabriel. Joaquin was to be born on the day his brother was originally supposed to make his appearance a year before. I figured it was a sign from God that he was meant to come on that night. A part of Gabe will always live in Joaquin.
I was so nervous and unprepared. I just wanted to tell the doctors to give me a few to go home and pack the hospital bag I had planned to pack that night anyway. I wanted a few minutes to let my daughter know she was going to be a big sister, and that I'd see her the next day, and that I loved her to pieces. I wanted those 2 weeks I was supposed to have to continue to spend one on one time with Andy before her world was flipped upside down.
There was no time for any of that, but if I knew than all the events that would take place after his birth I probably would have said there's no way. After Joaquin was born I got to see him really quickly and than he was worked on for what seemed FOREVER. Beto brought him over real quick for about a minute, and than he was whisked away to the NICU. Apparently he was having a difficult time breathing. It was hard not knowing exactly what was going on with my boy. I finally made it back to recovery. I felt good, but I wanted to see my baby.
A nurse came in to check on me almost immediately, and she wasn't to comfortable with how much I was bleeding. Turns out I ended up hemorrhaging. I will spare everyone of the details of everything I went through for the next 4 hours, but I'm glad that I didnt realize than the severity of what was happening.
Due to my hemorrhaging but I was actually stuck in the recovery room for almost 12 hours because they needed to keep super close to the OR just in case I needed to go back in. I was bed ridden for 24 hours, and I didnt get to see my baby again until Wednesday. By than he was about 36 hours old. He was still in the NICU, and was on IV's, a breathing tube, and just had us on our toes.
Thankfully I recovered well from my c-section despite everything. I was released on Friday, but it was the hardest thing to leave my baby behind. I felt like I had done that before. I had walked in with a baby, and I had already experienced walking out empty handed. I was just thankful that this time I could still go back and visit a live baby.
It was exhausting and stressful going to the NICU everyday, twice a day to visit Joaquin, and at the same time balance life with a toddler at home. She wanted her brother home with her, but adjusted very well to mommy having to visit baby. It was fun watching her interact with him when she did tag along. It was quite the 18 days in the NICU. It was a rollercoaster rider, and I wanted off so bad, but I know it could have been a lot worse, and our stay could have been so much longer. I will never forget the nurses at Prentice that took care of my baby when I couldn't.
We finally got to bring Joaquin home on May 5th. It's got to be one of the greatest days of my life. i finally felt like we were all a family. He turned out to have a dairy and soy allergy, and so breastfeeding has been a struggle at times, but I have managed to go completely soy and dairy free, and quite honestly I feel great.
Unfortunately, our journey didnt end there. On May 16th I went in to the ER with major pains. Turns out my gall bladder wanted out. After an adventure there I finally had it removed, and was back home on the 18th, exactly a month after giving birth. However, I had a few complications, and ended up back in the hospital a couple of days later.
Thank God things have finally seemed to settle and we are trying to get back on a normal schedule again, and finally adjusting to our new addition. It's been quite the journey, and I know that in a year we will look back at it all and laugh. I couldn't have survived all of this without my husband, my parents, or my siblings. Everyone stepped up big time, and helped us out so much. I'm so thankful to God that despite all that we went through things didnt end up much worse than they could have.
I'm 40lbs lighter than when I started my pregnancy and I feel amazing. My journey with that is long from over, but i'm on the right track. I believe to be suffering from a very mild case of PTSD, but I'm positive I'll overcome that too. Right now I'm just happy that I have my two kids here with me, my little Gabe in heaven, and an amazing husband. There's much to still blog about, and many more details to give, but for now I'll leave it at that.
First and foremost I must announce that Joaquin Jeronimo made his debut into the world on April 18th at 10:53 PM via emergency c-section. He weighed in at 6lbs1oz and was 18in. long. Not to shabby for a 35 weeker. It's been quite the journey since hours before his arrival. This entry can get super long, but I will try and get in as much detail as I can without making it a novel.
That day started out about as normal as any other Monday. I got up and got Andy ready for her mom and tot class. I felt a bit queasy, but figured it was probably due to my stuffing my face with Wendy's the night before ;). I had a glass of millk that didnt sit to well, but didnt think much of it. Anyway, after class I came home, and fed Andy her lunch. i tried eating a sandwich myself, but I couldn't really keep it down. Eventually it all came out and I couldn't stop puking. I finally stopped just to give me enough time to call my OB and my husband. OB told me to just go in to the hospital to make sure I wasn't dehydrate, and because I hadn't felt baby move as much.
Quite honestly I figured I'd get peace of mind hearing the baby's heartbeat, and I'd be right back at home in a few hours. After all my c-section was scheduled for 2 more weeks. I couldn't have a baby that night. My mom wasn't coming in until the 30th, I didnt really have much ready either. We had just moved out of the house, and were just starting to settle in with my in laws. As soon as I walked into the hospital I started to feel actual contractions. I got an IV immediately, and as soon as I finished that bag it all came right back up. A ton of puke all over again. After that my contractions got stronger. I told the OB on call I wasn't comfortable going home at all especially after my history of losses. I wasn't going to lose this baby too. She agreed that she wouldn't send me home, but she wanted to keep baby in longer. They monitored me for a few more hours, and it was obvious my contractions were stronger and closer together. Due to my t-incision with my daughter they couldn't risk me continuing with these contractions. Before I knew it, a c-section had been called, and I was to have my boy that night.
Made a quick call to my mom to get the next flight out, and just let my brothers and in-laws know he was coming in a few. It dawned on me that it was April 18th, my original due date with Gabriel. Joaquin was to be born on the day his brother was originally supposed to make his appearance a year before. I figured it was a sign from God that he was meant to come on that night. A part of Gabe will always live in Joaquin.
I was so nervous and unprepared. I just wanted to tell the doctors to give me a few to go home and pack the hospital bag I had planned to pack that night anyway. I wanted a few minutes to let my daughter know she was going to be a big sister, and that I'd see her the next day, and that I loved her to pieces. I wanted those 2 weeks I was supposed to have to continue to spend one on one time with Andy before her world was flipped upside down.
There was no time for any of that, but if I knew than all the events that would take place after his birth I probably would have said there's no way. After Joaquin was born I got to see him really quickly and than he was worked on for what seemed FOREVER. Beto brought him over real quick for about a minute, and than he was whisked away to the NICU. Apparently he was having a difficult time breathing. It was hard not knowing exactly what was going on with my boy. I finally made it back to recovery. I felt good, but I wanted to see my baby.
A nurse came in to check on me almost immediately, and she wasn't to comfortable with how much I was bleeding. Turns out I ended up hemorrhaging. I will spare everyone of the details of everything I went through for the next 4 hours, but I'm glad that I didnt realize than the severity of what was happening.
Due to my hemorrhaging but I was actually stuck in the recovery room for almost 12 hours because they needed to keep super close to the OR just in case I needed to go back in. I was bed ridden for 24 hours, and I didnt get to see my baby again until Wednesday. By than he was about 36 hours old. He was still in the NICU, and was on IV's, a breathing tube, and just had us on our toes.
Thankfully I recovered well from my c-section despite everything. I was released on Friday, but it was the hardest thing to leave my baby behind. I felt like I had done that before. I had walked in with a baby, and I had already experienced walking out empty handed. I was just thankful that this time I could still go back and visit a live baby.
It was exhausting and stressful going to the NICU everyday, twice a day to visit Joaquin, and at the same time balance life with a toddler at home. She wanted her brother home with her, but adjusted very well to mommy having to visit baby. It was fun watching her interact with him when she did tag along. It was quite the 18 days in the NICU. It was a rollercoaster rider, and I wanted off so bad, but I know it could have been a lot worse, and our stay could have been so much longer. I will never forget the nurses at Prentice that took care of my baby when I couldn't.
We finally got to bring Joaquin home on May 5th. It's got to be one of the greatest days of my life. i finally felt like we were all a family. He turned out to have a dairy and soy allergy, and so breastfeeding has been a struggle at times, but I have managed to go completely soy and dairy free, and quite honestly I feel great.
Unfortunately, our journey didnt end there. On May 16th I went in to the ER with major pains. Turns out my gall bladder wanted out. After an adventure there I finally had it removed, and was back home on the 18th, exactly a month after giving birth. However, I had a few complications, and ended up back in the hospital a couple of days later.
Thank God things have finally seemed to settle and we are trying to get back on a normal schedule again, and finally adjusting to our new addition. It's been quite the journey, and I know that in a year we will look back at it all and laugh. I couldn't have survived all of this without my husband, my parents, or my siblings. Everyone stepped up big time, and helped us out so much. I'm so thankful to God that despite all that we went through things didnt end up much worse than they could have.
I'm 40lbs lighter than when I started my pregnancy and I feel amazing. My journey with that is long from over, but i'm on the right track. I believe to be suffering from a very mild case of PTSD, but I'm positive I'll overcome that too. Right now I'm just happy that I have my two kids here with me, my little Gabe in heaven, and an amazing husband. There's much to still blog about, and many more details to give, but for now I'll leave it at that.
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