The Big Day

Gabriel's big day came and went. I wanted to write last night, but we were gone ALL day, and by the time I made it back in, I was so exhausted. Where do I even begin? Beto surprised me on Wednesday. He had called in the parents of my both the kids I babysit, and told them I was unable to watch them on Thursday, and than he planned a day trip to downstate Illinois.

We left the house about 5:30 A.M., and made it to Peoria by about 8:15ish. We grabbed a bite to eat, and head to the Wildlife Prairie. It was a beautiful sunny day out in Peoria. Andrea had a great time walking around the forest, and seeing some animals. I felt really at peace, and being so in touch with nature made me feel very in touch with Gabriel. I felt him all around.

We headed out to Starved Rock about noonish, and that was amazing!!! I can't wait to go visit during the summer for a weekend. Wow! It's a great scenery. We hiked some trails for a bit, and finally found the perfect spot. There was a lake looking down, we were on top of some rocks, and you can just see another cliff on the other side. The sound of the water was very calming. It was quite cloudy out by this time, and it looked like it may rain. We just stood there in silence for a few minutes. Andrea was very intrigued by the whole thing, and she was silently looking around too. I knew that was Gabe's place. That's where we would come remember him every year. It was so perfect. There were tears flowing down our faces, and we missed our son really bad. Just as Beto and I held each other, a small glimmer of sun broke through the clouds. We knew it was Gabe letting us know he was there.

It was a very emotional day. I thought about him a lot while we were driving. I wondered what it would have been like if we were in a hospital room holding him instead of being out in the country. I wondered why it just wasn't meant to be. I wished so bad I was holding my newborn son. At the end of the day though this is our reality, and all we can do is talk to him wherever we are.

I can't thank Beto enough for planning this very special day for us. Andrea enjoyed herself very much, and it was exactly what I needed.

Til we meet again Gabriel! See you at Starved Rock again next April 8th.