I don't normally like thinking that way, but sometimes it's hard to not go that route. The family that lives 2 doors from us just had a baby. It makes things a bit easier knowing it's a girl, but it still sucks. This couple married a month before us, had a little girl a month after us, and well they just got their second baby. It's crazy all the similarities yet our 2nd baby is not here with us. They get to figure out 2 small children out, they get to have sleepless nights while having to deal with a toddler during the day, they get to change diapers and clean up toddler messes. I'd give the world to do that.
I just get so mad sometimes that I was robbed of that chance. No matter what happens now, the dream is dashed. My daughter will be 3 the next time she has a baby brother/sister. 3 is so different than 2. I mean it'll still be nice, and a great blessing, but the challenges will be so different. God it's so hard not to wonder what things would be like.
I love you always Gabe.
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