What it means to me.

Pregnancy and Infant loss day is tomorrow. A year ago, I never imagined the day would hit so close to home. I remember learning about pregnancy loss day just last year, and while I did take the time out to remember those babies, I dont think I really understood the pain those mothers were going through.

I was about 15 weeks pregnant with Gabriel last October 15th. Everything had been going so perfect, and I was just prepping to have two kids under 2. I never in my mind imagined that a year later I'd be grieving the loss of two babies. I never thought I'd be a part of the club no mother should ever be a part of.

On October 15th, 2010 I ask you to take the time out at 7pm to light a candle or at least take a minute to remember all the babies that are lost each year. If you dont know anyone personally that has had a pregnancy loss or an infant loss, remember Gabriel. He was my boy, my son, and he was very real to both Beto and I. He will always be very real to us. I had the chance to feel him kick inside of me a time or two before he passed away. We had hopes and dreams for him just like any parent does for their living children. He was our daughters baby brother, and together they were going to make our life even more complete.

It's time for miscarriages, still births, and infant losses to stop being so silent. It's amazing how many women shared with me that they too had lost a baby when I went public with my loss. It's a personal choice to share your loss with the world, but I dont ever want a mother to feel like she's alone in this painful process. I dont want any mother to feel like they have to deal with this pain silently and alone. No mother should feel they should be over their loss by a certain time.

I know it's hard to understand somebody's loss because you never actually got to see or hold the baby, you never got to stare into their eyes, or see them smile, but these babies are just as real to their mothers regardless of having been 5 weeks pregnant or 40 weeks pregnant. The loss is just as real and painful.

Please take the time to remember these losses on October 15th of every year.