Anxiety

Why does it come on Sunday nights? I just start to get anxious about everything. I get anxious about what I'm going to do with the kids during the week, I start thinking about money, and just life in general. I need to have a plan, and I need to follow through with the plan. Maybe it's living here that is causing this anxiety. Maybe knowing that although I'm treated very nicely here that it isn't my own. I'm hoping all this settles down once we move.

We got the house we so wanted, and I pray to God this calms a lot of my anxiety down. This is really odd for me as I've never really suffered from anxiety. I hope once we move into the new house all of this goes away. I dont like the feeling, and I want to be in control of things. This has been so much harder than I ever imagined it to be. I just want my own space and my routines back.

I have this vision of how things will be when we move into the house, and I'm trying not to build my expectations to high, but at the same time I hope and pray to God that it's the change we really need. That it's what's been holding me back from feeling normal these last few months. I'm afraid of this feeling not stopping, but I'm very hopeful it will.

I dont think this blog made much sense at all, but at the same time it felt good just to type it out. Hope is all you can hang on to.