That's how far along I should be today but I'm not. Instead Tuesday will mark 4 week since we found out Gabriel was no longer with us. It's crazy how time just keeps moving and waits for no one. It's a battle only Beto and I can face together. It's a loss that only us two understand what it was like, and it is like, and will always be like. I just wish people could understand a little better. I'm not afraid of people speaking about babies and being pregnant in front of me, but I wish people would be more careful about mentioning stuff about having a son one day. Sometimes I want to scream that I DID have a son. We may have never seen his face, felt his soft skin, or gave him a kiss, but I love that boy just as much as if I had. I loved my Gabriel since the day my body let me know I had a little seed in me.
We celebrated two birthdays today, Emily and Letty's. Both beautiful little girls. I can't believe how big my nieces are getting. It scares me to think Andrea will be like them in a blink of an eye. It's how our new life is though, you are so happy that your family gets to see another birthday, but you can't help but think that your kid will never blow out a candle on their cake because they couldn't even make it to their own birth. Learning to live with our "new normal" that's all we can do. That's all I have for today, there are a lot of birthdays and events going on this week that will be surely exciting and hard all at the same time.
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