starting to feel the sting...

I'm starting to feel the sting of not having Gabriel in my belly on Christmas. I felt like I was holding up as best as I can, but now I'm really starting to feel so sad about the whole thing. I want him back so bad it's not even funny. I dont want XMAS to come and he not be kicking and squirming inside me. I dont want to see all the extended family I haven't seen since we lost him. I just want to hide under a rock and stay there. I just want my baby back so bad!!! I guess tomorrow and Friday are going to be a lot harder than I thought since I'm feeling this way already. I'm praying for a great 2010, but I will never forget my little boy. I pray that tomorrow and friday come and go as soon as possible so that I dont feel such a strong sting that my boy isn't inside of me anymore. GRRR...