So far so good.

So far this year has treated me fairly well. I know it's only but 6 days old, but still. I see the brighter side of things right now. I've been eating very well and working out the last two days. I've managed to upkeep the house, and I just feel good overall.

There are still a few things on my mind that I need to come to terms with, but overall I feel good. I'm excited about Thursday's first support group class. I think it will do me very well. I think about Gabriel each and every day, but I dont feel that deep depression I did just a month ago. I wake up every morning and look at his ashes. I feel him there with me, and I know he is okay. Sometimes it all still feels like it was all dream.

I've realized I have to keep myself busy everyday or else the pain becomes overwhelming. Sometimes the radio plays a song that has nothing to do with losing someone, but someway somehow my mind figures out a way to make it a sad song. Music is a big love of mine though, and it has been a big part of my healing process. I can listen to certain songs over and over again, and they bring on rivers of tears, but I've learned that crying is a big big relief for me.

I wonder if I'll ever be able to blog without mentioning Gabriel in it. I'm not sure I ever want to do that. Sigh....