It's crazy how your life and outlook changes when something traumatic happens in your life. The things that never mattered to you start mattering, the things that used to bug the crap out of you, well you learn that it's just a minor bump in the road, and you shouldn't let you bother you so much.
For example, as a woman I hated my stupid period EVERY month. I just hate it. I dont have ridiculous cramps, and it usually only lasts about 4 days, but it's still a freaking nuisances in my life. Well, my first period since losing Gabriel showed up today, and it's never been so nice to see it. It's a bit sad because well I shouldn't be having a period cause I should be pregnant, but I've accepted the fact that Gabe is in a better place now. So I'm super excited to see my period show up because it means we can try to have another baby now.
Speaking of having another baby, it's something Beto and I decided together we wanted to do as soon as we could. It's part of our awesome 2010. We are determined to have another healthy child this year as planned. This new baby will not replace Gabe, wont take away the pain of losing Gabe, and will never be Gabe, but we always wanted our kids close in age, and this is a part of our plan.
A small part of me feels guilty even thinking of another child so soon, but my heart and my head both tell me it's okay to try and have another child. Gabriel will always be our second baby and our first son so if and when I do get pregnant this next child will always be our third. Our children will always know they have a brother in heaven.
In the 2nd day of this brand new year we are already starting on the right track! I hope this is a continuing trend, and that everyone has an awesome year!
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