Milestones

A year ago today I was on cloud 9. I remember the day like it was just yesterday. It was a beautiful 85 degree sunny day, and my daughter had just turned 13 months. She was on verge of walking (she would eventually take her first real steps 3 days later). I was also a day late on my cycle, and I knew the possibility of being pregnant was there, but I didnt have my hopes up because we had been trying for several months with no luck.

I figured I had nothing to lose, and I needed to go out for a walk anyway, so I strapped Andy up in the stroller and off we went to CVS. I think I ran home just shttp://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=8264972486769541492o I could test. Lol. I put Andy down in the bathroom, and I felt like it was the longest minute of my life waiting back for the result. To my surprise it was a big fat positive. OMG!! I told Andrea she was going to be a big sister, and we did a happy dance. I got myself together and called Beto at work. He couldn't say much, but I could hear him smiling.

Just like that, in an instant, you fall in love, you start having hopes and dreams, you start wondering, and getting nervous. You make plans, your world changes all over again. All with a stick that has two pink lines on it, but you know it's so much more than just a stick. It's a human being growing inside of you. It's love, it's indescribable.

I started to wonder immediately what life would be like in 9 short months with a 20 month old, and a newborn. I would be due in April. Perfect timing. I wondering if Andrea would have a little sister and they would be close as can be, or if she would have a brother, and teach him the way. I wondered if she would be jealous or love her new big sister role. I wondered how I would handle two under two each day by myself. I knew I could do it, but I knew there would be a major adjustment.

The only thing I never in my dreams imagined is that a year after getting that positive pregnancy test I wouldn't have a baby in my arms. Crazy how all those dreams came crashing down so fast 20 weeks after that positive test.